Making My Way in the Mommy World
Over the past few weeks I've had the opportunity to interact with a small number of other mothers in the neighbourhood and it's always a bit strange for me. I believe I pointed this out last summer, when I found it disturbing that a mother in Tink's swimming class clearly didn't want to divulge her own name - just that of her son's. The same thing happens on the playground - I do not know any of the other women's names! I know that so-and-so is Matthew's Mom and her over there is Cameron's Mom. Thomas' Mom looks to be expecting again but I would never have the nerve to ask her if she is. Sigh.
It is interesting to discuss with these women napping, eating, pooping, and bedtime habits. As much as I try to feign disinterest as to what other babies Tink's age are doing, it has been, for the most part, very encouraging to find him on par with the other little ones. These 3 other little boys that frequent the park at the same time as us were all born within two weeks of Tink. I find it really fascinating from an astrological point-of-view some of the similarities between their temperaments, but I haven't found the courage to share this with anyone else.
Word is out on the playground that I'm expecting number two (as if my belly wasn't clue enough) and Cameron's Mom frankly asked me if I was worried about handling two children instead of just one. Some days I'm worried, but most of the time I'm pretty confident that, just as my mother and her mother before her, I'll make my way okay. Besides, I'll have tons of help from Krazy and his parents, and Tink himself. For Tink is such a good little boy and listens quite well. I have no doubt that the first little while will be a big adjustment for everyone, but we'll all just have to try our best to love each other and make it work.
Yup, definitely trying to pysch myself up for the challenge!
It is interesting to discuss with these women napping, eating, pooping, and bedtime habits. As much as I try to feign disinterest as to what other babies Tink's age are doing, it has been, for the most part, very encouraging to find him on par with the other little ones. These 3 other little boys that frequent the park at the same time as us were all born within two weeks of Tink. I find it really fascinating from an astrological point-of-view some of the similarities between their temperaments, but I haven't found the courage to share this with anyone else.
Word is out on the playground that I'm expecting number two (as if my belly wasn't clue enough) and Cameron's Mom frankly asked me if I was worried about handling two children instead of just one. Some days I'm worried, but most of the time I'm pretty confident that, just as my mother and her mother before her, I'll make my way okay. Besides, I'll have tons of help from Krazy and his parents, and Tink himself. For Tink is such a good little boy and listens quite well. I have no doubt that the first little while will be a big adjustment for everyone, but we'll all just have to try our best to love each other and make it work.
Yup, definitely trying to pysch myself up for the challenge!
posted by Melbine @ 11:40 AM
6 Comments:
At 12:06 PM,
Sugarplum said…
That's silly. Of course you can handle two kids at the same time. There will be an adjustment, as you say, but a mother who is as together as you can handle two kids no problem. Tink will be a huge help - he's pretty independent already - and it will be fun. Nothing to be nervous about. What a strange thing for that woman to say. It's the first one that is the most difficult, isn't it?! This time you'll know exactly what you're doing!
At 7:46 AM,
Melbine said…
Thanks for the encouraging words and compliment Sugarplum! I had been thinking about the adjustment period only until that woman asked me if I was going to find life difficult!! I think the same as you - the first one is who you really learn the parenting ropes with! This baby may give us different challenges but nothing we're not prepared to handle...her child was a very high-needs baby that had lots of sleeping problems. So I guess she was just thinking about how crazy her life had been and isn't prepared to go through that again any time soon!
At 1:08 PM,
Sugarplum said…
I think you get what you can handle. The first kid can be difficult but if the second one is then the first one adjusts and grows up faster.
This isn't a polished theory but it seems like it is a game of tug of war for attention. If you have two attention-seeking screamers, one will eventually give up and try something a little different or learn that screaming doesn't have the desired effect. Or the mom breaks down and cries and the kids feel bad and guilty and start behaving themselves. Or the mom asks for help from family and friends and finds that she has all the support she needs. At least in your case.
At 11:14 AM,
Mistress La Spliffe said…
At any rate you'll be fine. You've seen women juggle so many more while holding down full time work and seen most of their kids turn out magnificently. Like you, right? Your mum was full time, wasn't she? And there were a kabillion of you.
At 8:17 PM,
Melbine said…
My Mom worked until shortly after she had her 3rd and then it wasn't becoming financially worth it anymore. She didn't 'work' (aka make any money) for the next 10 years and she says they were the best of her life. So there you go.
At 11:30 PM,
Andrea Bowers said…
One thing you might want to consider (my sister has found great success with this now that she has two) is having the new baby in a sling/wrap/carrier with you, so you can have your hands free a little more. I think my sis even nurses her little guy in the wrap so he is pretty happy and sleepy most of the time.
Congrats on the potty training too! What a great little guy you have. I'm so happy I got to meet him this summer.
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